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Slippers

There comes a time in a man’s life when he wants a pair of slippers. Comfy, cosy slippers with faux fur lining for shambling around the house. Generally, this time coincides with middle age, when the man has realised he has little to prove and has given up on his quest for alpha male status. He is comfortable with himself and seeks only comfort for his feet.

There comes a social dilemma though, when friends are coming round on a Saturday evening to drink wine and eat crisps and olives. For these are not just friends: these are visitors, guests, for whom the house has been tidied, the carpet’s been hoovered and some candles have been placed here and there, just so. The man is showered, shaved and changed into his clean shirt and trousers. The guests arrive in fifteen minutes. The dilemma: formal shoes or slippers? Not so long ago, middle-aged men would resolve this by the wearing of moccasins. Thankfully, those days are gone.

The solution lies in the creation of slippers that look like formal shoes. In this day and age, when labs can smash atoms and build a sheep from scratch, surely they can make slippers that appear to be brogues. Until then, I’m happy in my beat-up old slippers. I try not to fret about who may see me in them. But, I’ve yet to put this sang-froid to the ultimate test, the one taken and passed by countless older women I’ve known and respected. The big test is wearing your slippers when you are popping across the road to the shop.

And as to the social dilemma? Simply buy a second-hand pair of shoes two sizes too big; put your slippers in the shoes and your feet in the slippers. Now receive your guests.

 

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